Oh my a few weeks ago I was nominated for a Star Award at Roy Castle for the Individual Inspirational Award. I was so surprised but at the same time very happy and excited to go to Liverpool for the presentation night.  I was so looking forward to meeting everyone I have been chatting to over the years. I booked a room for both myself and Jody to stay overnight and she kindly offered to drive us there and back.

Yesterday was the night of the award's Jody and I travelled up to Liverpool and booked into our room and very nice it was too, we spent the afternoon walking around the sites and visited the Albert Docks and saw the Beatles.We found a nice quiet pub and sat to have a couple of drinks before heading back to the hotel. Where we got dolled up to join the group downstairs, it was so nice to meet everyone I had been chatting with finally and also some of the other nominees. It was a lovely evening and everyone was so kind, excited and happy. The meal was delicious and the conversations were inspiring, so many amazing people that had done so many Wonderful things and all for Roy Castle.The presentation began and my group was next I was confident and so pleased for the 2 others in my category they were such worthy winners, not once believing I would win. Then my name was called ?????? I was in shock and couldn' believe it I havent done anything out of the ordinary just tried to do my bit to help others and maybe prevent another young death from this devastating disease. How can this be I am just a mum who misses her son so much and wishes no other mum goes through what I have with my family. Shock set in and I went up to get my award with my daughter who was as surprised as I was but very happy for me. The rest is a blurr , I know I had my photo taken and I made a speech but I honestly cannot remember what I said. When I came back to the table I just could not stop shaking , Angela sat with me Claire brought me a tissue And Jody held my hand. I was so shocked it took me sometime to calm down, many people congratulated me but it still hadn't sunk in and this didn't make sense.

The rest of the evening was lovely and quite emotional especially meeting everyone who had been there for me over the years. Angela, Claire, Fauve, Chelsea and Esme all wonderful and have been so kind to me even this was emotional too as these amazing people had done more than they know for me giving me the boost and encouragement I needed to keep my sons name alive, they all understand my grief and why I do what I do which is so comforting to me I know they too have their own tales and experiences linked to lung cancer. I thank you all for this and to those that nominated me , I am grateful but still unsure how this has happened to me. I will continue to strive to do what I can in the hope that one day my dream of having something named after Joel will come true so he can live on and his death was not in vain.

This award I dedicate to him as he is my inspiration to continue as Fiona Castle does together with many others who have lost loved ones to this awful disease.I have placed next to Joel in my office where I get to see them both all day.

I would also like to thank Jody for coming with me and being with me throughout these years, she is my only child now and so extremely important to me, without her life would not have much meaning. I love you and thank you for your support and for being there for me.

So many people at the presentation said how wonderful the charity is and its so true, everyone has compassion, empathy , kindness and understanding. They are supportive, caring and nothing is too much trouble for them. You all deserve an award too so thank you again.